| The Incredible Shrinking Woman | |||
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Thursday, April 17, 2003 ( 4:08 PM ) Melody Iraqi Art/History being carried away by looters A story on Salon today about the looting of Iraq's national museums. Not that the loss of life in Iraq is in any way less tragic than this, but this article just hollowed me out this morning. It's one thing to kill people, but for some reason, our complicity in the killing of a culture seems an even greater crime. # ( 1:16 PM ) Melody If a tree falls in the forest...? The guy with the nose trumpet who sits in a cube right outside my office is exceptionally chatty today. He just spent 10 minutes recounting an entire episode of South Park. The thing is, I just got up to use the restroom, and there's no one sitting in any cube even remotely close to him. So who's he talking to? Oh OMG. I wonder if he's been talking to me all this time. # ( 12:46 PM ) Melody Goodbye, Dr. Atkins Wow. The diet king is dead. I know I've been critical of the Atkins diet in the past, and I still don't think it's healthy to go tell people that they can have all of the steak, eggs, and butter they want as long as they don't have a roll or piece of toast or a banana, but I will say that I'm grateful to Dr. Atkins for shedding the light on the dangers of complex carbohydrates. That has been, by far, the most frustrating piece of the diet puzzle for Belinda and me-- learning to watch sugar (carbs). Even though, in the end, losing weight really comes down to calories consumed vs. calories expended, it's helpful to understand that your body produces insulin to break down glucose (found in carbs). When you take in a lot of glucose, your pancreas produces extra insulin in order to break it all down, often over-producing insulin that ends up causing you to retain fat. If you keep riding your pancreas all the time by taking in too much glucose, it eventually gives out and stops producing it all together. When that happens, you're officially an insulin-dependent diabetic. Simple carbohydrates, like fruit and legumes, are a lot less difficult to break down, so your body has to produce less insulin to handle them. Complex carbohydrates-- things like pasta and bread-- are much more difficult for the body to break down. That's why you can get a food hangover after going to an Italian restaurant. Your body tends to hang onto these foods a little longer. Something else Belinda and I have learned is that foods that are high in complex carbohydrates have a lot more calories per ounce than other foods. In other words, you can have a 6 or 7 ounce apple for the same amount of calories in 1 slice of most grocery store breads. # ( 10:26 AM ) Melody Most hated words in the English language "I need this yesterday." I can tell my boss has been on vacation for a week because now that he's back, I need one. # Wednesday, April 16, 2003 ( 12:41 PM ) Melody Bacon Broad There is a woman who works with me who likes to make bacon in our breakroom microwave. I can tolerate popcorn as long as you don't burn it, but bacon?! It's cruel! Who makes bacon at work? It's not just regular bacon either. There's a package of raw Emge double-thick bacon sitting on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator in the breakroom. The smell of it in the morning makes my mouth water. It makes me crave terrible fatty things. It makes me want to break her toothpick body over my knee and steal her bacon! # ( 8:50 AM ) Melody Oh yeah. Break me off some o' that, yo A big shout of thanks to Mista Biggz, Ernie's hip-hop DJ boyfriend, for providing the explanation to my query, "What the hell is a chickenhead anyway?" Mista Biggz writes: Total nu-school hip hop slang. It's used in many different ways. It's a more polite way men can disrespect other women, instead of saying "bitch" or "slut", not as harsh...if that makes any sence. And when women say it to each other it's considered...kind of a term of endearment, but only if used in a certain context. Kinda like when gay men or straight women call each other bitch in that girl-friend kinda way. But on the other hand if a women says to her man, "why you talkin' to that chickenhead!??!", then it's disrespectful, get it? Download the song "chickenhead" by "Project Pat" and it'll give more detail. peace! If that's the case, Belinda is, most definitely, my chickenhead. # Tuesday, April 15, 2003 ( 9:51 AM ) Melody Take a deep breath Hey look at this! The answer to a question that's been on my mind for a long time. How does fat leave the body? I always thought it disappeared into the sewage system. It turns out that we actually breathe it out. Heh. I guess I can stop waving goodbye now. # ( 8:36 AM ) Melody Another week, another pound (or two or three) We lost three fatties last night. We're not sure why we lost Jo. She'll be back in a few weeks, we hope, but Paul and Sue quit the class because Paul got laid off last week. They felt they could grocery shop a lot more cheaply than the program. We were really disappointed to see them go because they're two of our favorite people in the class. Belinda lost a little over two pounds, and I lost 3.4, making up for the .1 I actually gained last week. I'm 5 pounds away from my original goal for the first 18 weeks of this diet. I've got to lose that in 3 weeks. I think I can do it. Now I actually want to at least lose 20 more. That will officially land me in the "just overweight" category for my height--which nearly everyone is anyway. It would take another 50 to put me at the ideal weight for my height. Of course, I called my mom this morning and gave her the update on my weigh in. I forgot that I had not updated her last week, and she had the nerve to ask what I did wrong to have gained weight. She doesn't mean to be an insensitive bitch. She's just clueless. Fortunately for her, I'm not insensitive enough to tell her that my Aunt Bonnie told me last night that my grandmother (mom's mom) mentioned this weekend that mom was putting on a lot of weight around the middle. # ( 8:27 AM ) Melody Where you at? Laughed my ass off this morning. You've got to see this Boost Mobile commercial. Belinda is now officially my chickenhead. Link found on Ernie's blog. Yes, he is still on hiatus, but he did post this morning. # |
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