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Friday, November 14, 2003 ( 2:18 PM ) Melody Mommy dearest Saw a link to this Onion story on Steph's blog. What do you do when your mom happens to surf across your blog. Shirley (meine Mutter) would croak if she saw this blog. Here I am telling everyone I like girls, airing all my business. As Mac would say, "Clutch the pearls! What must the neighbors think?!" I live by the assumption that mom will never learn how to use Google. She's always having me look up stuff for her. "Mel, can you get on the computer and print out some stuff on mutual funds for me? (never specifies which mutual funds) Can you tell me if the place dad and I stayed at on St. George Island has any Internet specials on right now? Can you get me some information on washing machines? What can you find out on that computer about Fibromyalgia." These are all great questions, but I do get tired of being her personal Internet researcher. I guess this is one case where I should be glad of her learned helplessness. I've always wondered what kind of relationship most fiction writers have with their parents. You know a lot of writers cull autobiographical material to use as fodder for their stories-- even when their novels are mostly fiction. I always pulled from my personal experiences when I wrote short stories in and after college. It was compulsive. I wouldn't call it one of the reasons I stopped writing, but it was certainly a worry for me. I never submitted any story for any publications if there was anything negative in it that my mom might deem related to her or our family in some way. I realize this was weakness on my part, and I think I'd handle that much differently now, but it would still be a very uncomfortable position to put myself in, and I would have to weigh things carefully before I put myself there. # Thursday, November 13, 2003 ( 2:43 PM ) Melody Turkey with light mayo, please-- oh, and a Haagen-Daas chaser Got a nice compliment from a woman in the mail room just now about how much weight I'd lost. She's going in for bariatric surgery (stomach stapling) on Monday. I hear more and more people around me considering this. Stomach stapling frightens me-- the whole idea of surgically altering your body to allow you to starve yourself more effectively doesn't make good sense to me. I'll admit that I really don't know enough about it to make an argument against it, and I have seen it change the lives of people around me here at work, but a healthy lifestyle change seems so much less invasive, and it fosters good habits. This woman was the third bariatric surgery candidate who I've heard say she's gained weight before going in for the surgery because she's trying to get in all of the foods she won't be able to eat afterwards. The idea that food is a reward that must be earned or a sin that must be atoned for is what keeps people fat and hopeless. Either you eat a huge meal and then feel guilty when you don't get around to exercising it off, or you deprive yourself too long and then go overboard when you do get a chance to eat what you love. The guilt perpetuates the cycle. You think, well I've already blown it. It won't hurt to blow it some more. Restaurants feed on the guilty pleasure/reward mentality in their advertising. Mikal recently pointed out to me the new Subway commercials featuring Jarod Fogle. Jarod is spotted all about town eating fattening meals. When questioned by his heart-broken fans, he replies, "It's OK. I had Subway for lunch." Message: It's OK to do whatever you want, as long as you eat at least one meal a day at Subway. Buy our products, and you'll get thin, not eat less, and you can eat wherever you want. # Wednesday, November 12, 2003 ( 9:18 AM ) Melody Can't go home again No calls from my mother in 2 1/2 days. I can't get her at home, and the cell phone is turned off. I'm assuming, at this point, that I'm being served with the silent treatment. I have had the silent treatment before-- for two weeks when I told her about Belinda and I. It was torture, but at least this time I'm older and a little wiser. I need their approval a little less, but I do want their friendship a little more. They were really supportive after my breakup, and I could have never survived it without them. It really made me crave a deeper relationship with them. Here I am again, happy with just one piece of my heart. # Tuesday, November 11, 2003 ( 9:53 AM ) Melody Putting a face to the blame Article on Salon this morning about the new products being developed for an obese world. According to the article, 20% of Americans are now considered obese. I wonder what percentage of us are just overweight. I know I still fall into that category. Most people who are overweight are on their way up, I think, not down. Having recently been a member of the target market, my feelings about these new products are really convoluted. On the one hand, I'm angry that corporations are making money off of what will lead to suffering and dying. Making it easier to live fat does perpetuate unhealthy behaviors. On the other hand, I can remember being really uncomfortable in the seats at most theaters and theme parks, wishing they'd develop more realistic standards for such things. I remember wailing things like, "Not every woman is a size 8!" I'm still really pissy about the fact that lots of formal dress shops only keep sample dresses in sizes 10 and 12. I'm still a 14, and I've had a difficult time shopping for bridesmaid dresses with my sister because of this. Whose responsibility is the fat epidemic? Ultimately, it's an individual choice to live healthy or sicken. Most heart disease and diabetes are avoidable. At what point, however, do you expect the corporations who market products designed to make living or getting fat easier to step up and take some responsibility? Lots of people are fat because they're not educated about proper nutrition, or they don't have access to healthy foods. It's not convenient to eat healthy, and it can be very expensive. Fresh foods go bad more quickly, and they take time to prepare. If you work a lot of hours, it's hard to come home and make a healthy meal. That drive through is so cheap and enticing and immediately gratifying. I guess the most socially-responsible thing to do is to educate, educate, educate, using both positive and negative reinforcement. Your doctor tells you that if you keep gaining weight, you will be winded faster. You will lose the ability to produce your own insulin. You will develop heart disease. Seems like a no brainer, but a lot of doctors don't bother to have this frank discussion with their patients these days. It's uncomfortable. Restaurants need to make nutritional information about the foods they sell available and accessible to their patrons. Schools need to teach kids how to read food labels. I'd like to share my experience with losing weight with others. It's not just about looking better. For me, it's mostly about feeling better-- about doing things I never used to want or like to do. People need to know that eating healthy translates to feeling healthy. # ( 9:07 AM ) Melody Family Matters Dinner last night with Katy, Joe, and Vanessa. She's meeting my friends, who are as much or more my family than my parents and sisters are. Katy, thank you for taking this opportunity to grill her on her dating history, eating habits, cooking skills, and thoughts on having children. Also thanks for asking us if we're planning to get married. I love you for that. Somebody has to stand in for my folks. My dad's comment on me dating a girl again: "What's wrong with her besides the fact that she's gay?" No, "Tell me about her," even though I did. They were just really hoping that Belinda was a one-time deal, but what do you know-- I really do like girls. I hope in time that they'll be happy for me just because I'm clearly enjoying life so much at the moment. Isn't that what parents are supposed to say? I just want you to be happy. Mine only say that if happiness is attached to a penis. It sucks knowing that your parents' support is conditional. # Monday, November 10, 2003 ( 9:08 AM ) Melody New Beginnings Gentle readers of The Incredible Shrinking Woman (I think there are about 5 of you), I am seeing someone new and wonderful. Meet sweet Vanessa. I will try to fill you in on some of the details about her and what we're doing over the coming weeks. I probably won't tell you everything. Some things I want only for myself. I will say this: She is witty, warm, easy to talk to, funny, sexy, and has beautiful eyes and hips. # |
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